Want to laugh until you die? Then this website probably isn't for you. This site is more designed to make you laugh until you pee a little. Or at least giggle a bit, or maybe grumble (joyfully!)...

Anyway, read on for the true enlightenment and spiritual revelation (you'll have an epiphany with each word you read!) that is abundant in each and every one of my funny short plays, stories, videos, and songs.

Note: I'm probably not going to edit out all of the typos and grammatical errors of my older writings, because 1: I'm lazy, and 2: I plan on uploading new writings soon and I want them to look that much better by comparison.

Funny Short Stories... That is what this website is mostly about. I will now take a moment to spotlight a few of my favorite humorous stories, with links to my older junk at the end:

"An Axemaster, a Midget, and a Pony": This is a funny short story about a man named Axemaster The Fierce and his quest to save his beloved bunnies from peril. Along the way he meats an aged hippy, a midget in a barrel, and rabid ducks guarding a mysterious fortress. After a creative writing peer of mine read this, she suggested that I write stories for kids; what with the whimsical nature of it and all. I'd probably consider toning down my adult themes and writing a childrens story if I were paid a great deal of money.

"A Change of Luck": Here is a mostly funny, albeit absurdest, short story about a man who believes he is cursed and destined to fail at the game of love. Will he overcome all odds and the fates themselves and find love, or will his hopes and dreams be smooshed?

"Sergei The Searcher" : A funny short story about time travel, and what happens when idiots play around with it... It is a work of what "they" are calling "hyperfiction," basically my plot structure is set up in such a way that you the reader get to choose where the story goes (well, to an extent). Like the choose your own adventure books of yore

"The Fate of the Ancient Lizards" : Ever wanted to read the real story about how dinosaurs became extinct? Well, this is it... Scientists weren't too far off. Read it; you can't go wrong with funny dinosaur stories! A children's story if I ever read one (and I haven't).

"Old Man Wars" : How oh how will the world's population count be controlled in the distant future when there are too many people!? This is a "funny" story about old men fighting in death matches... Your children will love it.

"Gregor's Epiphany": This is an oddity I wrote rather recently about one man's struggle to hear the voice of God. It was originally supposed to be ridiculous story about what would happen if a man used all the different ways people have managed to "talk to God" in the past (hallucination through fasting, hallucinogenic drugs, meditation, near death experiences, etc.) at once, but it turned out horribly wrong...

Old Junk Page 1, Page 2, Page 3.

Poems:

"The Fast Food Guy" : A funny poem about one special fast food employee and his quest to amuse himself.

"Don’t..." : A funny poem about running naked... and why you probably shouldn't in some situations.

"Icky Intersection" : Another funny poem about the responsibilities of daycare workers and their inability to successfully guide children safely across intersections.

Really old junk: Poems 1, Poems 2, Poems 3, Poems 4.

Plays:

I have finally uploaded my three very funny short plays (10 minute plays), so you must read them:

It's Nuts : A short funny play about squirrels fighting over which nut is better: acorns or walnuts.

Of Love, Lunch, and Losers :A short funny play about three different guys who go after the same girl...

It's Just A Napkin : An insane, and hopefully funny, play about life and love in a world that is just... strange.

: Visiting Gran GranOk, so I recently decided to delve once more into the lives of quaint, but insane, individuals in this whimsical (and offensive) play about a father and sons' heartwarming visit to their dear old Gran Gran in the rest home.

"Films:" aka youtube videos...

Here are some Youtube videos I've acted and performed the soundtracks of. They were written, directed, produced, etc. by famed novelist and Sundance Film Festival hopeful Nicholas Enloe:

"The Mime:" A Halloween video of a "scary mime" (Nick) chasing a happy-go-lucky tree hugger (me). Really a pretty creepy video.

"Sandwich: A Tale of Emotions and Stuff:" This video tells the tail of an extremely depressed young man who tries to find happiness by transforming himself into an alien.

"Between States:"A deeply inspirational tale about one man's struggle to find the meaning behind his dreams and the friends he grows to love and cherish along the way.

Songs:

I'll upload more of these eventually (I want to rerecord most of what I've written), but in the meantime "enjoy" a version of "The Moose Song" in which the tracks are out of sync. "The Moose Song" lyrics.

Ok one more. Here is "Don't Run Naked" Here are the:lyrics.

And finally, here are some of the funny quotes, sayings, aphorisms, and epigrams I've compiled... Funny quotes

Junk I've Made That Actually Caught On

Here are some online tests, quizzes, etc. I have created over the year that somehow caught on... (i.e. many many views):

Here is the video game villain selectsmart quiz I made many many years ago "Which RPG Villain Are You?"

Here is a slightly newer, and slightly better test. It was originally an OkCupid test, but now you can find it at helloquizzy. In it you listen to video game midi files and guess the game name to see how much you know (it has a slight Nintendo bias): The "Great Video Game Music Test!"

The Warcraft 3 Facebook group specializing in ladder play, DOTA, mapmaking, replays, and other search terms google should like: Warcraft 3 Addicts

Here are a couple funny Warcraft 3 videos I made showcasing some funny and "gosu" strategies:

In the esteemed 4v4 RT gametype, an ally of mine decided to "play farmer" and mass critters within a farm barricade. Here we see Blizzard and Flamestrike destroy an entire game's worth of farming in 3 seconds.

Here is a Pitlord and a massed Ancient of Wonder rush for your consideration.P P P Pitlord!!

The "Best RPG of All Time list

The extremely dated "Top 100 Video Games of all Time list.

One of the first webpages I ever made, has some Chrono Trigger animated gifs, music (midi), screenshots, and a review! Oh Boy! Chrono Trigger Addicts

Here is a lame webpage I used to keep updated with Chrono Trigger 3 (Chrono Break) rumors.

Here is the former layout of Hilarity ensues. Maybe I'll something like it again one day...

And last but least, my index page Video Game Addicts, where you won't find the latest video game reviews, news, sales, or much of anything...

Use My Junk?: So I occasionally get requests from high school students wishing to use my plays or stories for forensics debates and such, and I'll usually allow it if you email me about it first. Also, if I do let you use my works for this purpose, e-mail me again afterward to let me know how your team did!

© The John Lindsey Corporation/Company/Enterprise