The time machine flashed back into “real-time” in the year 65 000,327 BC, and Sergei and Sir Hood exited the capsule and talked to each other.
“Good choice of year Villain, I don’t see any traces of squirrel kind here!”
“Oh please, call me Sergei the Serendipitous! Or just Sergei for short.” said Sergei while embracing Señor Hood.
“Oh... okay, this must be how you ‘greet’ each other in your time, eh Sergei?”
“Nope, I just like hugs!”
“In my time... hugs are the leading form of foreplay, so please let go of me!”
“But Robin Hood, I love you, you stole money from convenience stores and gave it to the upper middle class!” said Sergei.
“I am... not Robin Hood. All members of the Anti-squirrel Rebellion dress this way. I was called Fred the Furious... Or just Fred to my friends.”
“Then I shall call you... Fredrique!”
“You… are pretty annoying Sergei.”
“I put the in ‘agg!’ in aggravating!”
“No doubt… But anyway, let’s see if we can find anything in this time that can be used to combat squirrels in the present, which I guess would be your future.”
“Present?! Is it Christmas time already? Well then deck my halls Fredrique!” said the excited Sergei.
“Deck your… halls? I’m afraid I do not understand what you are saying here.”
“With bowels of Holly!” screamed Sergei.
“Bowels… Sick stuff Sergei, I think I’m going to revoke your speaking privileges. It is probably a good idea that we keep it down anyway, we have no idea what kind of predators are in this time that might try to eat us,” said Fred/Fredrique.
“I will forage for roots for our supper,” said Sergei, and with that he darted out into the jungle. Fredrique sighed and then followed after him, when he caught up to Sergei he found him kneeled down on the ground gnawing on a giant tree root.
“What are you doing you imbecile?! That isn’t food!”
“Oh yeah? Well try telling that to the deer I see eating this stuff every day…”
“Did you just formulate a complete and ‘witty’ sentence Sergei? Perhaps there is still hope for you after all…”
“All living deer are my brothers! Their shiny antlers remind me of these tree roots I love eating so much! Dance with me Fredrique!”
“I see I spoke too soon…”
“An Indian once saw me dancing with a deer, and so he started calling me ‘Dances with Hooves!’”
“I… see. Well, currently I am fighting the urge to make you ‘dance with death.”
As the two “companions” talked they were completely unaware that a t-rex was stalking them through the forest. It picked this moment to attack, and lunged at Fredrique and Sergei while they were exchanging this banter.
Both companions managed to jump out of the way of the first charge, despite their being taken unawares, and the dinosaur roared in his fury. Sergei roared something back, and the t-rex stopped for a moment, astounded.
“Sergei!” shouted Fredrique, “Are you actually… communicating with that monster?!”
“All living dinosaurs are my brothers!” Sergei yelled.
The t-rex started roaring once more, and so Fredrique asked Sergei what the dinosaur was saying.
“He says he’s pretty hungry, and wants to eat us along with this root I’ve been gnawing on. He roars like he hasn’t eaten in days Fredrique, lets each give him one of our arms to eat as a gesture of kindness!”
“No Sergei, try and convince him to not eat us!”
Sergei roared his appeal, and then translated the dinosaur’s reply to Fredrique, “He says that most of the dinosaur population has been hiding in caves recently, ever since the giant falling rock in the sky was first seen, the rock some pterodactyl prophet said would destroy them all. And because this dinosaur, who is called Timmy, cannot fit inside any of these caves, he can’t find any ‘morsels’ to eat… the poor guy! Let’s donate our legs to him!”
“No no! Try and make some kind of deal with him… Like, if he doesn’t eat us, we can help him travel to a different time where there are lots of things to eat and no ‘asteroids of impending doom!’”
“Silly Fredrique! He can’t fit in giant caves, let a lone a tiny time capsule! Come on now… off with your legs!”
“No idiot, he doesn’t have to know the capsule is that small until we get very close to it, then we’ll have time to run to it and escape with our lives.
Timmy the Tyrannosaur was getting impatient, and had been eating the large tree root as he waited for the small humans to finish arguing.
“Okay okay Fredrique, I’ll do my best.”
Sergei roared to Timmy about the bountiful animal feasts in other time periods, and about how he would assuredly be at the top of the food chain. Timmy was much intrigued by this notion and agreed not to eat Sergei or Fredrique as long as they could get him to a different time. After Sergei voiced this to Fredrique, Fredrique let out a large sigh of relief and started to walk back from where they came and out of the denser jungle.
Sergei and Timmy danced along after him in their glee, held hands, and fell in love. The kind of love that only a man and a dinosaur can share… Love that shakes mountains.
But as they neared where the obelisk should have been, they became aware that something was very wrong.
“It was right here!” yelled Fredrique in his desperation, “Someone… Someone or something must have gotten into it and traveled away through time! We are stranded, and in a land where dinosaurs want to eat us! Oh woe is meeee!”
It was then that Sergei noticed a kind of “ripple” in the very fabric of space-time.
“Hey, what are this!?” he exclaimed.
“Ahh!” yelled Fredrique, “Maybe if we jump into that “portal” we will be able to escape this time after all!”
Should Sergei and Fredrique try and jump through the “time portal,” or should they instead stay and try to defeat the mighty Tyrannosaur Timmy in battle?