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 Updated / Written: 01/20/2019
Funny Short Stories... That is what this website is mostly about. I will now take a moment to spotlight a few of my favorite humorous stories, with links to my older junk at the end: "An Axemaster, a Midget, and a Pony": This is a funny short story about a man named Axemaster The Fierce and his quest to save his beloved bunnies from peril. Along the way he meats an aged hippy, a midget in a barrel, and rabid ducks guarding a mysterious fortress. After a creative writing peer of mine read this, she suggested that I write stories for kids; what with the whimsical nature of it and all. I'd probably consider toning down my adult themes and writing a childrens' story if I were paid a great deal of money. "Free Zoo": Hey, I finally finished a new short story! This one is about a nice and happy family that manages to find itself at Free Zoo. The family is soon horrified to learn that not only does this Free Zoo cost to get in but also that the"free" in Free Zoo refers to the animals. All of which roam the zoo freely and are very hungry... "Love and Doom in Bunny Foo Foo Land": Here is another funny short story in the vein of "An Axemaster, a Midget, and a Pony" only this time there is an eeeevil wizard trying to bring insanity to the entire universe (and many others). Will madness reign supreme? Or will the maaaaaagical power of love be enough to save everyone... "The Cursed Sock": I decided that was going to start writing funny short stories for the holidays again, and I would start with funny short stories for Halloween (it being October and all). This story is a mostly amusing, somewhat disturbing, Halloween misadventure about what happens when you go wearing cursed articles of clothing like a drippy cursed hobo's sock... "A Change of Luck": Here is a mostly funny, albeit absurdest, short story about a man who believes he is cursed and destined to fail at the game of love. Will he overcome all odds and the fates themselves and find love, or will his hopes and dreams be smooshed? "Sergei The Searcher" : A funny short story about time travel, and what happens when idiots play around with it... It is a work of what "they" are calling "hyperfiction," basically my plot structure is set up in such a way that you the reader get to choose where the story goes (well, to an extent). Like the choose your own adventure books of yore "The Fate of the Ancient Lizards" : Ever wanted to read the real story about how dinosaurs became extinct? Well, this is it... Scientists weren't too far off. Read it; you can't go wrong with funny dinosaur stories! A children's story if I ever read one (and I haven't). "Old Man Wars" : How oh how will the world's population count be controlled in the distant future when there are too many people!? This is a "funny" story about old men fighting in death matches... Your children will love it. It has recently come to my attention that famed author Suzanne Collins has used my "Old Man Warz" idea in her highly successful novel The Hunger Games, simply replacing the "elderly fight to the death" idea with "children fight to the death." I was told I should seek royalties, but frankly I'm flattered that she would use my idea for her amazing books (okay, I just read the 1st so far) and will do no such thing! That being said, I'm counting on some famous film director to adapt my short story into a film as well so that I too can make millions! "Gregor's Epiphany": This is an oddity I wrote rather recently about one man's struggle to hear the voice of God. It was originally supposed to be ridiculous story about what would happen if a man used all the different ways people have managed to "talk to God" in the past (hallucination through fasting, hallucinogenic drugs, meditation, near death experiences, etc.) at once, but it turned out horribly wrong... "Happy Fun Times With Glee" :Ok, so this is a really really old story I started like... six or seven years ago and just decided to randomly finish. I stopped writing it back then because my sister pointed out how it starts out a feasible story, but spirals into an unbelievable one not based in reality. I agreed back then (and gave up on it), but rather than cutting the story where it starts getting dumb (i.e. shortly after the parking lot fight) and losing all of that precious dialogue, I decided just to tack on a quick ending for fun with the intention of maybe writing a stand alone sequel later. Old Junk Page 1, Page 2, Page 3.
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